After months or years (subconcious mind) asking my career question, what am i destined to do? back and forth in countless vicious cycle, I decided to truly deal with it.
ALRIGHT GOD! OK OK! I WILL SURRENDER!.. I will surrender to be the being i was born to be. And what would that be? well, i dunno, and I SURRENDER! YOU HEAR ME?
...hushhh, hmm. lets be quiet here. God only speaks to those who are all ears! and thats what i shall be doing untill i get a clear clear answer.
but seriously, It IS all an act of surrender. with the capital 'S'. My first time realising this word, was a year back. In the awesome book, The Eight Human Talent by Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa. It was my first insight into the power of acceptance and surrender. with that, i proceeded to search for a higher truth. Who am I the human, yearning to surrender to? Sunday services at a cosy church did propel me fwd with that question — though with no defnite answer. I find it hard to hear faith and believe it to be the truth. Perhaps bible study is all i need?!? Well i'm in luck, my spiritual best friend seems to have the right books at the right time. I will then be all ready to soak up the Course of Miracles after my current book, Power vs Force.
Just now, as i sat by the beach soakg up the essence of the twinkling stars from the tiny docked ships, deep within me, i just know, why fret over something i'll never know for sure? CAN I NOT J-U-S-T B-E.
Tom Cruise, in Last Samurai said "A man does his best until his destiny is revealed" . It goes hand in hand with Gandalf's words of wisdom, "All you have to do is to decide what to do with the time that is given to you now."
On this mistfying nite as i listen to the one of the most soothing classical piece ever composed, Canon in D, i surrender to my blissful joy in my 30 years (1 in mummy's womb) of experience of the heavenly touch of angels & miracles that I've seen, heard and touched by, direct or indirectly, and to those whom I've had the blessed chance to be in journey with.
Today, I am blessed to enjoy how fun it was to work on my site, check out the fishshops, having Kian to share my contemplations with and laugh at how silly i can be with life sometimes, great great music from all over the world, my pet fishes, my comfy bed and comforter, all the cats in the world, technology so i can chat with my family, my angel bro, my beautiful sis, simple and lovely mum, and my warrior dad. I'm so blessed to have the experience of love in my life to share that with those around me.
And u know what just came to me? God always told me to never stop creating. for thats my gift. and never stop painting. ; ) i guess God had always been speaking as I reconnect.
What better way to surrender then to gulp down some chilled perrier. Night God. Night to my divine higher being.
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