Here's what my dad sent to me today!!
After 3-6 months friendship and when time to develope intimaticy is insight, must discuss and settle the following:
(1) Financial management of each other's money after marriage : amount to spend, to save, to spend on residence, including the extend of each other's say on family inherited/existing asset
(2) Each other's spending habit and amount to spend on what area. The amount each can spend his/her income and the limites
(3) Each other's duties and responsibilities running the family and house and share of work
(4) Managing and utilisation of each other's free time/days. Discuss and come to a compromise
(5) Each other's religion and extend of involvement
(6) Relatives influence on relationship and family and kids. Too much suggestions may spoil and influence relationship of husband and wife., esp on child care.
(7) Relationship between in-laws, their roles and ability to be in one big family actively and happily.
(8) Assume married, discuss on no. of kids, types of education and medium, the duty of care and each other's role on house chores each has to do.
(9) If one has bad habit, to what extend the other can tolerate. Do not hope to change him/her.
(10)Personal interest and hobby. If not same, what extend each can comprise to take part in each other's interest/hobby. Do not hope to change him, but try to involve or participate occasionally.
(11) Evaluate each other's social life and friends. If they have negative impact on the the relationship, do what extend one can give up the bad ones. If one willing to give up some days and activities, the other must replace his loss with something more meaningful that two can do together.
(12) Discuss on how each express love and care and how often, eg, sms, email, writing, actions, body contact and love making
(13) Ask on opinion over adultery and study his/her view and with that, plan what to do to prevent.
(14) Discuss on self-development programmes after marriage and plans on kids, money and place of stay and job etc
(15) open discussion on important aspects that could affect relationship, eg. in-law's plan to stay together, sickness, alergy and personal problems.
