Ethics intersects etiquette

Ethics intersects etiquette. Our act has an ethical component, since it requires attention and consideration.

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"The principal form that the work of love takes is attention."

—M. Scott Peck

"A human moment occurs anytime two or more people are together, paying attention to one another."

—Edward M. Hallowell

"Every action done in company, ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present."

—George Washington

We must be as courteous to a man as we are to a picture, which we are willing to give the advantage of a good light."

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."

—Paul of Tarsus

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The Three Strikes of Incivility

The rude act—a lack of acknowledgment—causes harm in at least three ways. 

1) It may inconvenience others in some way in the act. Since the acknowledgement was needed for a reason.

2) Dismissal of other's presence is telling others "their existence didn't matter. The loss of face can make one perturbed and resentful.

3) If one being rude at - feels that they should do something to redress the slight, this will perturb them as well. They will wonder whether if they really want to bring the issue to the person's attention. Is it worth the while? Will an unpleasant exchange ensue? Is the incident going to escalate? If they don't react, is it being cowardly? 

So, rudeness begets conflict with others but also conflict within ourselves, and the latter can prove as hurtful as the former.

We can, however, do without the invisibility game. It is insincere and petty. Let's at least nod each other into existence. And let's not play another game, either, that of waiting to be acknowledged before acknowledging in turn. I hope that we will always have enough self-esteem to feel that being first in greeting doesn't entail loss of face.

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Acknowledge others' existence, their importance to you, their feelings, and the things they do for you. Acknowledgment comes in many forms: remembering someone's name, paying a thoughtful compliment, summarizing what was just said for a newcomer to the conversation, holding a door open to let someone through, welcoming, thanking, and just plain saying hello. A simple "Hello" or "Good morning" is the most basic form of acknowledgment. 

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and Going through life rude and angry can make you sick.

source is from www.oprah.com